Oh, the boobies!

Kid, dressed as ninja/samurai (perhaps bum with a sword): Trick or treat!
Me, holding out bowl of candy: Go ahead, you can take a couple.
Kid carefully selects three or four pieces, dropping each one in his bag before reaching for another.
Dad, from street, wearing plaid flannel and leaning on a cane: GOOD LORD, BOY! SHOW SOME SHAME!


Girl in princess costume (23rd or so of the evening): Mommy, look! That guy's falling!

Thanks to my foolishly early purchase of a large bag of chocolate eyeballs, my boobs have swollen to Significant Size status. They're perfect for a low cut dress, inadvisable as that may be this time of year. Also thanks to my roommate's contribution to the candy pile ("I got the good candy! Look at this! Snickers, Kit Kats, and Reese's Cups. None of that Tootsie Roll and Nerds crap. Wait, are those Pop Rocks?"), I'm on my way to Videogame Vixen status. If Halloween had lasted any longer, I'd be in full-on Explosion Expected mode.